Thursday, September 4, 2014

The Hater Has Returned

Guys, she came back. It's true, she actually returned. I about died laughing when I saw the message in my inbox. 

At first I thought it had to be a mistake. After all, I haven't posted a blasted thing on this blog for weeks.

She must just randomly stalk me every couple of months or so. 

Without further adieu, I present to you my favorite hater and her lovely words of affection:

Carlie, (she spelled my name right!)

I can't even began (I think you used the wrong tense here. Don't worry I will help you..."begin") to describe how upset I was to find that you are still blogging (best believe it). I thought I had made myself perfectly clear in my first email that I do not appreciate your stories (nah, you made yourself clear...I just don't really care). You think it is funny to post my email to your site? (Yes, yes I do) You're (*your) stories are more offensive then (*than) anything I have ever read before. (I take it you don't do much reading or writing, so I'm not too hurt by that) Not only are you're (*your...I know that one is tricky) words offensive, but I recently saw a video you made where you are singing a rap song. I know Porter and he would never listen to that music if you hadn't introduced it to him. (OMG I'M THE WORST) It's sad to watch all of this. (So sad) I'm sure you will end up posting my concerns to your page once again (Yes, yes I will). I sincerly (*Sincerely? Come on, how do you even mess that up? Do you not know what that red squiggly line under misspelled words means?) hope you will reconsider blogging in the future.

Thank you,

Mrs. ________

I could not wait to respond. My thoughts were flowing y'all.

My response:

Dear Mrs. ________

I greatly appreciate your email. I love to hear from people reading my blog. Your email has truly touched me. As per your request, I have decided to reconsider my blogging habits. It appears that I do not do enough of it. I promise to post more frequently. 

I really hope you can see the true purpose of my blog. I do not mean to offend, I simply want to put a smile on my readers' faces. Life is too short and we should spend our time focusing on what brings us happiness. Otherwise, we will end up bitter and spend our days shooting off grammatically incorrect emails to those who are trying to enjoy this life.

With love,

Your favorite blogger, Carlie

For those of you who believe this was a little harsh, let me inform you that she has sent me more than a couple of emails. In her previous attempts to shut down my blog, I have responded with grace.

Also, if you have not seen our "inappropriate" lip sync, I have included it below. You're welcome.


  1. Carlie, I will be a fan of you and your writing for life. You are just awesome! I would like to request more lip syncing...especially rap songs, you know, since you have already ruined Porters mind with them. Keep it up,sister!

  2. Porter, Mern, and I lived for the rap game! I like how she knows Porter well enough to be certain that you corrupted him.

  3. This is hilarious!!!! I don't understand people who read things they don't want to read or don't like and then complain about it, go figure. If you don't like it DON'T READ IT!!!!! I really enjoy reading your blog, it has reintroduced me to Porter from our days in Wayne and now to you even though we haven't met. Keep it up :)

  4. freaking love your blog. never stop

  5. I guess my last one didn't go through?
    If she does know porter, it isn't very well because he was listening to rap long before meeting you. plus I love your blog and even recommend it to those who need a laugh