Monday, November 9, 2015

How To Shake Hands In Texas

So not much has happened since I last wrote.

Unless you consider Porter quitting his job at Goldman Sachs, starting grad school at Baylor University, and moving us to Texas an eventful couple of months, there isn't much else to report.

I decided to sit down and write today because I wanted to add one more thing for the internet to be mad at. If taking up arms against the new Starbuck's cup isn't doing it for you, I promise to continue to be here with my politically incorrect and shameless adaptations of our one-arm tales. So let's get this ball rolling.

Like previously mentioned, Porter is getting his graduate degree at BU. Yes it is the same Baylor University that is ranked #4 in the country. It is convenient to be here when BYU broke my heart in week 3 of the season. I'm also pretty pumped about having College GameDay here. Look for us on ESPN this weekend.

Back to the story. Porter was meeting with a professor when the head of the department walked in. He and Porter had not previously met, so Porter stood up as he walked into the room. Naturally, the department head stuck out his hand to shake Porter's. That's when all hand-shaking h*** broke loose.

Upon seeing the outstretched *right hand in front of him, Porter awkwardly turned to shake with his left. Apparently the whole encounter wasn't transparent enough, because the department head decided to teach Porter a lesson in manners.

Department head: "Son, in Texas we shake with our right hand!"

Ah, yes. In Texas they do shake with their right hand. So does the rest of America, sir. (I include "sir" because that's what we say here. I even say ma'am now too. #polite)

The professor practically jumped out of his chair attempting to somehow catch the word vomit that came out of the department head's mouth. He failed.

Porter: "I would, but I don't have one."

And the Texas-sized ego was reduced...almost non-existant.

I have to bash on Texans now because I'm afraid we won't have many of these experiences here. The people are all ridiculously nice. Honestly. Good luck trying to convince me to leave this place.

Also, if you are a Fixer Upper fan, come visit us here in Waco. We can take you to Magnolia Farms (we live five minutes from their store) and we will personally introduce you to Chip and Joanna. And I can personally guarantee at least one of those things will actually happen.