Sunday, September 29, 2013

DOn't quIT

One year for Christmas, Porter received a gift from his grandma. It was a picture frame with the saying, "DOn't quIT" on it. It wasn't exactly what Porter was wishing for, but it would later have an impact on him that he would never forget.

Porter's dad was his basketball coach starting at a young age. He and his teammates would always talk about how they were going to win the state championship when they got older. As the years went on, Porter's dad continued to coach them well into high school.

Then during Porter's junior year of high school, a couple of his teammates felt like they should be playing more than they were. Others started to tell Porter that the only reason he got playing time was because he was the coach's son. Porter's dad eventually lost his job as the head coach of their basketball team. Porter was devastated and decided that he was going to make everyone happy and just quit playing ball.

After making the decision, Porter went home and laid on his bed in his bedroom. He started crying because he loved the game so much. Then he saw it. His grandma's Christmas gift was sitting there on the shelf. He looked at it and read the words again, "DOn't quIT."

Instead of giving in to what others wanted, Porter decided he wasn't going to quit the game he loved. His senior year, the Wayne Badgers were region champs and went to New York to be on the show, "Good Morning America." Turns out, not quitting was a pretty good move.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Hate Mail

I got my first piece of hate mail. I was so beyond excited. I really do love getting email and messages from people telling me they enjoy the blog, but there is this overwhelming excitement that I feel when someone writes me and hates my writing.

I almost get as excited as I did as a small child getting new church shoes. By the way, my facial expression below was what my face looked like when I read the complaint too.

Ok, so let's get to it! Here it is in all of its glory, complete with my commentary in parentheses:

"Hi Carly, (Actually, my name is spelled C-a-r-l-i-e, common mistake, it's cool)

I'm writing because I am upset by what you are writing on your blog. While some may consider it funny, I find it ofensive. (Well, your spelling is offending me, so now we are even) There are probably others out there that fell the same way I do. (Did you mean feel?)

Whenever I read won (one) of your posts, I cringe. I can't believe that a sweet young man like Porter would be ok with what you are writing. You are making fun of him for something he can't control. You are not a good writer or a good wife. Please take down your blog.


***** ********

P.S. I'm sure there are lots of other people out there that would agree with me." (Yeah, thanks, you mentioned that already)

I loved it. I loved every word of it. This person is right. I'm a terrible wife. In fact, just last night I made Porter peel the potatoes that I was putting in the crock pot for dinner because I was making something else. Try doing it with a right-handed potato peeler too, it's not easy.

I also make him open doors for me even if he has stuff in his hand. I'm the worst, so there is no need to tell me I'm a bad wife. You can tell by my devious smile the day we got married that I so badly wanted to torture Porter for the rest of his life.

What my critic failed to realize is that my blog doesn't make fun of Porter. I joke about how other people treat Porter. However, based on this person's writing skills, I'm going to assume this individual can't read either. 

Until next time (because there will be a next time),


*Disclaimer: I really hope I'm not offending people, honestly. When we started this, Porter and I mostly just wanted to make people laugh. Feel free to let us know by leaving a comment if you aren't cool with something (or if you like what we are doing). In return (if it's negative), I will publish your comment and dissect it for our readers:)

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Discrimination y'all

Porter and I were just having a conversation the other day about discrimination. Not like a serious conversation about discrimination, but a very REAL conversation about the said topic. Let's be honest, the world hates on people like me and Porter every day, and they don't even realize it.

You see, we are survivors. We have struggles most people wouldn't even begin to understand. It's a daily struggle. Why are we discriminated you ask? Well, because we are left handed. I was born that way, I can't help it. And although Porter wasn't born that way, he doesn't have much of a choice now either.

You right handed people don't know what it's like to ruin a perfectly good white shirt because you didn't realize you had pencil marking all down the side of your hand from taking notes all day. You haven't experienced the frustration caused by something as simple as using scissors. There is nothing I hated more in elementary school than having to cut stuff out to make a meaningless craft. Lastly, and most important, the Wii automatically defaults to right handed people, so we have to change it before each game. Life is hard people.

We live in a right-handed world. Even something as simple as shaking hands is dominated by that blasted, less-dominant hand of ours. Now, I only bring up shaking hands because I have noticed that with Porter it is literally the most awkward encounter of all time. ALWAYS.

When you go to shake, you automatically stick out your right hand. That is, if you have one. So, when people first meet Porter and they extend their right hand, only to be met with Porter's left hand, magic happens. Literally.

I have been around Porter long enough to categorize people into groups based on how they shake his hand and this is what I have come up with:

The Polite/Humble Folk: This group of people, upon noticing Porter is missing an arm, will kindly switch over and use their left hand to shake his.

The Prideful and RIGHTeous: this group of people will continue to keep their right hand extended even after they realize Porter only has his left hand to spare. They are sticklers about it for some reason.

The Feminist: This is typically found in women. They do this side hand squeeze thing. It's ridiculous.

The Homie Handshake: This is for people who aren't friends with Porter, but pretend to be. When they realize that he only has the left hand, they frantically come up with a handshake like they have been bros all along.

The Hopeless Hugger: These are my fav. This group of people is full of kindred spirits. They typically panic during the handshake process, and instead of playing it cool, just hug him instead. Priceless.

If you have ever had the pleasure of shaking hands with this fine lad, feel free to classify yourself. If you haven't, well now you know how to handle the situation. You're welcome.

Until next time,