Thursday, January 30, 2014

Relief Society Misfit

Porter and I recently moved up to Orem. By recently, I mean in November. Our new ward is cool, but there is one down side to it…I have to be in Relief Society. Like real Relief Society.

Let’s be honest, BYU student ward Relief Society doesn’t count. It’s just Young Women’s Plus. When Porter and I got married and were in our first ward, I was put in YW, which is obviously where I (and my maturity level) belong.

I came home on Sunday feeling a little bit down on the whole thing because I realized two things:

1.     I’m the youngest person there by like 25 years…easy.
2.     I’m a terrible traditional Mormon.

In my conversations with my newfound sisters, I have found I don’t quite fit the mold. But then again, I prefer being a trend setter.

In conclusion, I have learned that it is going to take me a while to fit in. Here are 10 reasons why:

When I admit I don’t have a year supply…or a week supply:

When I say I have never learned how to sew because I have a really awesome Grandma who does it all for me:

When I pass on signing up for ward choir because I have a man voice and can’t play an instrument:

When I say I don’t have kids yet because I’m enjoying my career for now (and I'm only 22):

When I don’t sign up for the quilting group:

When I share a list of my favorite things to do and DIY crafts don’t make the cut:

When I sincerely plead for a BYU basketball overtime win in the opening prayer:

When I fail to suppress the noises my stomach makes on fast Sunday:

When I say I can’t come to “recipe exchange night” because I would rather play in my intramural soccer game:

When I tell them I’m from California:

And I'm all like:

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Sibling Rivalry

I have been slacking, which I knew would happen, because it was CHRISTMAS (obviously the best time of the year). I decided to try something a little bit different over vacation as well. Instead of picking on the strangers we encountered, I decided to focus my attention on the intricate details found in a relationship between a brother and sister-in-law.

I don’t think most in-law relationships are like the one I’m about to tell you about. In fact, I know for sure they aren’t, because no one else has a Rylee Bean in their family. Fortunately for me, I do.

This is my sister, Rylee. She has been the sassiest, spunkiest, most entertaining human being since birth. When she started school, she would come home at the end of the day and tell us EVERYTHING that went down in the classroom. She could tell you who said what to who, how they said it, and what they were wearing when they said it. Pure talent, I tell ya.

Anyways, Rylee and I are pretty different, which is why I think we have been the best of friends since forever. There is nothing quite like a bond between sisters, am I right?

Well, this bond was a little bit threatened when Porter came into the picture. Rylee was skeptical of him and was definitely not a fan of losing her sister to some boy. From the moment Rylee and Porter met, a beautiful love-hate relationship was formed.

Rylee would call him out on everything and Porter would reciprocate with equally impressive comebacks. My mom has threatened Rylee on countless occasions to “be nice,” but I prefer what the two of them have going on over a cordial friendship.

For example, literally the first time they met, the bickering began. They were taking shots at each other when finally Rylee burst.

Rylee: “Well, at least I have BOTH of my arms!”

Porter: “I may have one arm, but at least I don’t have a crooked nose!”

*To be fair, Rylee’s slightly slanted nose was surgically corrected last week, so we will no longer be able to hold that against her.

Over the ten days the two of them spent together over Christmas, I documented their exchanges. For those of you who have not been around the two of them when they are together, these exchanges may seem harsh, but really, there is love behind each hateful comment.

Porter was making fun of Rylee for being small and called her "bite sized" in reference to the tiny versions of candy bars.

Porter: "Rylee you are like those small candy bars. Since you are bite sized, you would be on sale."

Rylee: "I would be on sale because I'm bite sized? Well then you would be half off!"

Rylee (examining Porter’s armpit): “Why is your armpit weird like that?”

Porter: “Why is your face weird like that?”

Rylee: “No, seriously.”

Porter: “Like what?”

Rylee: “It’s like…so…goopy.” (Side note: Porter’s armpit has now officially been nicknamed “goopy” at our house.)

Rylee then proceeds to poke the “goopy.”

Rylee: “Ew. I hate it.”

Rylee and Porter engaged in an intense game of Wii bowling. Finally, once the two of them finished and sat down, Rylee decided to look on the bright side.

Rylee: “I like how you don’t have an arm right here so there is more room for me to sit.”

We went snowshoeing. It is surprisingly difficult. I guess it was so hard for Ry that she couldn't even carry her own water bottle.

Rylee: "FINALLY there is a good use for you not having an arm...the extra material in your coat can carry my water bottle."

Nothin' like a little in-law love.

Until next time,